Pleasant, laid back and accommodating, they are motivated by a need to keep the peace, merge with others and avoid conflict. Commanding, intense and confrontational, they are motivated by a need to be strong and avoid feeling weak or vulnerable. Fun, spontaneous and adventurous, they are motivated by a need to be happy, to plan stimulating experiences and to avoid pain. Committed, practical and witty, they are worst-case-scenario thinkers who are motivated by fear and the need for security. Analytical, detached and private, they are motivated by a need to gain knowledge, conserve energy and avoid relying on others. Creative, sensitive and moody, they are motivated by a need to be understood, experience their oversized feelings and avoid being ordinary. Success-oriented, image-conscious and wired for productivity, they are motivated by a need to be (or appear to be) successful and to avoid failure. Warm, caring and giving, they are motivated by a need to be loved and needed, and to avoid acknowledging their own needs. Ethical, dedicated and reliable, they are motivated by a desire to live the right way, improve the world, and avoid fault and blame.

Each type or number has a distinct way of seeing the world and an underlying motivation that powerfully influences how that type thinks, feels and behaves. The Enneagram teaches that there are nine different personality styles in the world, one of which we naturally gravitate toward and adopt in childhood to cope and feel safe. The point of it is self-understanding and growing beyond the self-defeating dimensions of our personality, as well as improving relationships and growing in compassion for others. The purpose of the Enneagram is to develop self-knowledge and learn how to recognize and dis-identify with the parts of our personalities that limit us so we can be reunited with our truest and best selves, that “pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven,” as Thomas Merton said. You need a personality or you won’t get asked to prom.

Not only is this not possible, it would be a bad idea. The goal of understanding your Enneagram “type” or “number”-the terms are used interchangeably in this book-is not to delete and replace your personality with a new one.

The road back to you ian morgan cron